The online world highlight reel and truths from a Nutritionist
Recently I’ve been seeing some really inspiring posts online. The ones titled something like ‘Social media is fake, let me share some truths’ - and they’ve been really refreshing to see. Mostly because, although we all know our online presence is somewhat curated, our conscious mind often forgets. And we start to internalise that everyone else is living life to the fullest and we’re getting left behind in our little mundane world, which just isn’t the case. So, I’m feeling inspired and jumping on the bandwagon. Here are some raw truths about me:
As a Nutritionist, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be taking care of my body, and tend to beat myself up when I’m not doing as well as I could be - which ironically, is often, because I’m approaching it from a negative stance. All of the exact things I tell my clients not to do. Why is it so much easier to support others than it is ourselves? This is something I’m continually working on.
I often feel dissatisfied with life. Which even typing out seems absolutely ridiculous. I’m so very aware of how privileged I am; I’m watered, fed (very well I might add), I’m loved and I get to travel and work on my own schedule. Yet there’s often a little niggle inside that tells me I need more, should be doing more, should be aiming for more, should be helping more people and making more of a difference in the world. Again, it’s a voice I’m learning to quieten down.
In my work, I support women to feel like the best versions of themselves and to live life to the fullest, but I’m often struggling to do that myself. Especially during the darker months, seasonal depression really takes hold. I feel numb a lot of the time and struggle to feel, well, anything really. It’s exhausting.
I’m pretty sure I’m neurodivergent and I’m not sure what to do with that information. Maybe I’m being overdramatic, maybe I’m just a bit lost, maybe I’m born with it MAYBE IT’S MAYBELLINE (sorry, couldn’t resist). I wonder whether I’ll look at diagnosis later down the line, I’m not sure yet. But it does explain a lot and makes me realise a lot of my life has been spent masking big time, which that in itself is a lot to process.
That being said, I often feel like a different person to what the world sees of me. I’m often told I come across well-disciplined, motivated and organised, and that honestly couldn’t feel further from the truth. I’m either 100% borderline-obsessed into a project, or I constantly feel like I’m doggy paddling to keep on top of it, ignoring the work as long as possible until I’m stress-typing an hour before the deadline to get it done, there’s very rarely an in-between.
Again, my confidence often feels like a façade. I’m an anxious little introvert at heart and pretty much every new experience terrifies me - and yes, I understand the irony of this sentence while living in a van and travelling around. I’m very much of the ‘fake it til you make it’ variety, though whether I’m actually make it one day I’m not sure, I think ‘fake it until you have to fake it a little bit less each time’ feels more accurate. I just know that I want to live a long, happy and fulfilled life and you can’t do that living in your comfort zone forever, so I keep pushing!
So that’s a little truth about me. I hope it gives you a little more insight into who I really am behind the screen, and allows you to be a little more you, too.
Shelley x